On July 1st this year, I hosted the 2016 Conference Awards.
It was a right lark!
I sang this little ditty, reproduced here by kind permission from myself.
The accompaniment was written by my oft partner in crime, Duncan Walsh-Atkins.
There's so much more to a conference,
Then people seem to think.
You slave away for a year and a day
Just to see it disappear in a blink.
No one realises how much you do
Just choose some flowers and a big venue
But worry not, I'm here in your defence
Cos there's so much more to a conference...
You've got to choose the topic, let the vision flow!
Haggle with the venue like a dynamo!
But on reflection
Wish you'd gone with bits of paper on a lecturn
Listen to the client
Respect the client
Then slightly ignore the client
But still fill them with confidence
Cos you know how to organise a conference!
Big questions need to be answered
Like where the hell did you put all the lanyards??
And what is going to be the main course?
A meal that shows no remorse!
Maybe duck or goose or horse!
Naaa let's stick with chicken in a white wine sauce!
Those final touches can be so important -
Oooh! How about stilt walkers?
Or a gospel choir!
What about a chocolate fountain?
SHUT UP BRIAN.
You know your AEO from your i2i
Your DDR from your...BMI.
Marketing and Financing and tiny detail organising
How you don't go mad is quite surprising
Does anyone care?
No one sees!
Except for Claire and Rory!
So enjoy the Conference Awards
Treating you all like ladies and lords
Celebrate the winners, no need for moaning.
We can't all be great at geo-cloning!
There's no space for intolerance
Cos there's so much more to a conference!